They’re related? (Vol. 1)

Introducing a new, periodic featurette entitled: “They're related?” It’s a quick connect-the-dots to show how two or more public figures are related. For the inaugural posting, meet Alan Greenspan and Andrea Mitchell, husband and wife. She’s the Chief Foreign Affairs Correspondent for NBC News (and survivor of a RNC balloon avalanche). He’s the former Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board. The two were married in 1997 by Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Read their wedding announcement in The New York Times here. Buried at the end of the article are some interesting details about the usually taciturn Greenspan: He studied at the Juilliard School and plays the clarinet and saxophone.

Hamlet: The Facebook Newsfeed Edition

Sarah Schmelling recently wrote a terribly clever and funny piece for McSweeney’s, condensing Shakespeare’s tragic story about the Prince of Denmark into a series of status updates, apps and group memberships.

How does “to be or not to be” fare? The existential question is reduced to: “Hamlet wonders if he should continue to exist. Or not.” Here’s how the whole thing opens:

Horatio thinks he saw a ghost.

Hamlet thinks it's annoying when your uncle marries your mother right after your dad dies.

The king thinks Hamlet's annoying.

Laertes thinks Ophelia can do better.

Hamlet's father is now a zombie.

- - - -

The king poked the queen.

The queen poked the king back.

Hamlet and the queen are no longer friends.

Marcellus is pretty sure something's rotten around here.

Hamlet became a fan of daggers.

Read the rest here. For more literal, and funny, takes on Facebook utilities, check out this video from The Idiots of Ants on BBC. For more rottenness in Denmark, there’s Hamlet 2.